Know Your Stars : Family Guy
by coffeexcoffeexcoffee
Summary: The Family Guy crew goes on All That's Know Your Stars! Chapter9: Mayor West! Featuring: ASiP's Dee Reynolds, FMA's Winry, Maes, and Edward! Please R&R!
1. Peter Griffin

Know Your Stars : Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy I'd be out buying lots of stuff!

Peter walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Peter Griffin...He cheats on Lois with_ _some floozy_ _at the Drunken Clam."_

" No I didn't! You jackass!"

"_Peter Griffin...He has a second famil_y _with Oprah!"_

"Hell no! I _hate _Oprah!"

"_Oh, really? Then what's this?" _The author had a picture of Peter, Oprah, and 2 other kids.

"You Bastard!"

"_Thank you!"_

"_Where was I? Oh, yeah! Peter Griffin...He does marijuana **and** cocaine!"_

"No I don't! Okay, _just_ cocaine, nothing more."

"_I knew it! Oh well, Peter Griffin...He **loves** to eat...**dogshit**!"_

"Okay, for the millionth time **_I have not done one thing you've accused me of!"_**

"_I have proof!"_

"Gasp! You bastard!"

"_Peter Griffin...He molests little kids"_

"You have no proof!"

"_Yes I do!"_ Shows Peter the proof

"You bastard!"

"_Peter Griffin...He killed Kenny from South Park"_

Kyle, Stan, and Cartman come in

Stan; "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"

Kyle: "You bastards!"

"I didn't do anything to this Kenny dude!" Peter said

"_Yes you did you molested him!"_

Kyle beats the shit out of Peter

"_Now you know Peter Griffin!"_

"No they don't! They don't! Waaahh!"

Note: Hey Some Random Stewie-holic here! I'll get the next chapter up when I can! Next chappie's Lois!


	2. Lois Griffin

Know Your Stars : Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy I'd be out buying lots of stuff!

Lois walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Lois Griffin...She's from Iraq!"_

"No I'm from Rhode Island!"

"_Yeah, suuurre. Terrorist!_

"I am not!"

"_Lois Griffin...She cheated with American Dad!"_

"Shh! Not so loud!"

"_Lois Griffin...has Bulimia and uses a chopstick to barf"_

"No I don't! Stop accusing me of things I didn't do!"

"_Lois Griffin...her mom is Concepción on_ _**The Adventures of Chico and Guapo**"_

"I don't even know a Concepción"

(Concepción walks in)

Concepción: "Lois my beautiful daughter!"

Lois: "Leave me alone! I'm not your daughter! You big-breasted, fish-lipped, she-witch!

Concepción: (Slaps Lois) Don't ever deny me again!

"_Lois Griffin... She sleeps with a **George Feeny plushy!**_"

"I don't even like_ Boy Meets_ _World_!"

"_Yes you do!"_

"_Lois Griffin...Is gay for **Topanga Lawrence!**"_

"Prove it!"

(Author holds up a picture of Lois fing a wax dummy that looks like Danielle Fishel)

"Gasp!"

(Danielle Fishel (Topanga) walks on stage)

Danielle Fishel: Lesbian stalker! (Slaps Lois)

"_Now you know Lois Griffin...The Iraqi terrorist, cheater, Bulimiac_, _Concepción's daughter, Feeny-loving , lesbian stalker."_


	3. Chris Griffin

Know Your Stars: Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy I'd be a rich jerk.

Chris walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Chris Griffin...He's secretly a girl named I. P. Freely"_

"No I'm not! My name is _Chris Griffin_!"

"_Seymour Asses...He works at Southern Xposure"_

"Cool! Wait, no I don't! And my name is _Chris Griffin_!"

"_Jacques Strap...He is a sweaty football coach"_

"Prove it!"

(Author show Chris' yearbook and it says: "Jacques Strap, Football Coach.")

"Gasp! You asshole!"

"_Iman Idiot...He's mayor of Uhhh, Duhh._

"Gasp! How did you know!

"_Resources. Where was I? Frieda Livery...Works at Planet Express on **Futurama"**_

"For the millionth time** MY NAME IS _CHRIS GRIFFIN!"_**

"_Joe Momma...He's Wilmer Valderrama's co-host on** Yo Momma"**_

"**My fucking name is _Chris Griffin_! Get it through your thick head!"**

"_I. M. Amanwhore...has 5 different girlfriends."_

Kairi, (Kingdom Hearts) Schiezka, (Fullmetal Alchemist) Kari,(Digimon) Kagome,(Inuyasha) and Sakura (Naruto) come in, and each slap Chris.

"_Now you know...Wayne Dwops._

"**MY NAME IS CHRIS!_"_**

**Note: here are the people whom deserve Meg Plushies:**

**1.bdsproductions, _Here is your Meg plushy!_**

**2.BrianGriffinLover, _Enjoy this Meg plushy!_**

**3.JEMASCOLA,**_ **Your hard-earned Meg plushy!**_


	4. Stewie Griffin

Know Your Stars : Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy I'd kill Lois!

Stewie walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Stewie Griffin...He **loves** Lois"_

"What the deuce! I _hate_ Lois!"

"_Stewie Griffin...Is as nice as a bunny"_

"Hell no! I'm _evil_ not good!

"_Stewie Griffin...Won the Most Loverly Baby Award" _

"No! I won the Most Screwed Up Baby Award!"

"_Stewie Griffin...Cheats on Eliza with Kara and Shelby Hoffman"_

"Prove it!"

(Author shows picture of Stewie doing the Hoffman twins)

"Gasp! You bastard!"

(Eliza comes in and slaps Stewie) "We're over!"

"_Stewie Griffin...He went out with Sophie Angelo from **Chico and Guapo**"_

"Gasp! Who told you!"

(Mr. Angelo comes in and kicks Stewie 's ass) "I told you **_STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"_**

"_Stewie Griffin...his parents are **really** Hank and Peggy Hill"_

"Hallelujah! I _knew_ it wasn't Lois and the Fat Man!" (Starts Partying)

"_Oookay..."_

"_Stewie Griffin...went out with Connie Souphanousinphone"_

"Not true! Not true! Not-"

(Kahn Souphanousinphone comes in and kicks Stewie's ass) "Stupid redneck! Stay away from my daughter!_"_

"_Now you know Stewie Griffin the Lois-loving, nice, loverly, cheating, Sophie-dating, the Hills' son, Connie-dating, redneck."_

"**I AM _NOT _A REDNECK! DAMN YOU!"**


	5. Meg Griffin

Know Your Stars : Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy I'd put myself on the show as Meg's only friend!

Meg walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Megan Griffin...she is a super mega lesbian" _

"Nuh uh!I'm straight!"

"_Megan Griffin...dated Haylie from **American Dad**"_

"So? Mom dated her dad!"

"_Megan Griffin...wet the bed 'til she was 14"_

"Please don't tell!"

"_Megan Griffin...overeats to solve her problems"_

"No I don't! I cut myself!"

"_Megan Griffin...has a shrine for Lust from **Fullmetal Alchemist**"_

"Prove it!"

(Author shows picture of Lust shrine)

"Gasp! You asshole!"

"_Megan Griffin...won the Miss F.A.T pageant"_

"Ha! I wasn't even in it!"

"_Megan Griffin...is really, really gay for Riza Hawkeye" _

(Sarcastically) "Yeah sure_"_

"_I have proof!"_

(Sarcastically) "Oh really"

(Author shows pictures of Meg stalking Riza)

"Gasp! You jerk!"

(Riza walks in and slaps Meg) "Stalker!" (Riza shoots Meg)

"_Now you know Megan Griffin"_

"No they don't!" (Groans)


	6. Brian Griffin

Know Your Stars : Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy Brian wouldn't drink so much.

Brian walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Brian Griffin...is really female"_

"No I'm not! Dammit!"

"_Suuure Brianna"_

"My name is _Brian _not Brianna!"

"_Brianna Griffin...has the hots for Roger from **American Dad**"_

"No I _hate_ Roger _and American Dad_!"

"_Brianna Griffin..."_

"_Brian_ Griffin"

"_Sorry. **Brian** Griffin...met Peter at Southern Xposure"_

"Hell no! We met at the Drunken Clam!"

"_Whatev! Brian Griffin...has his own Playboy bunnies"_

"Prove it!"

(Author shows pictures of Brian with his hookers)

"Gasp! You crackwhore!"

"_Brian Griffin...is totally against martinis and other liquors"_

"If I always have a martini on hand then how could I hate 'em!"

"_Because you're a hippie!"_

(Sarcastically) "Yea suuure"

"_Brian Griffin...dated Nina Tucker's dog"_

"But he's_ male_!"

"_Fine. Brian Griffin...dated Winry Rockbell's dog"_

"But Den's male too!"

"_**You** were the one who went out with him!"_

(Winry comes out) "Whaat!" (Winry hits Brian with a wrench)

(Ed comes out too) "Hey! She used to hit _me_ with her wrench!" (Beats up Brian.)

"Hey watch it shorty!" Brian yelled. The mushroom cloud went up. "WHY YOU LITTLE!" (Ed kicks Brian's ass) _"Now you know, Brian Griffin"_


	7. Quagmire

Know Your Stars : Family Guy

Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy Quagmire would be funnier than funniest.

Quagmire walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Glenn Quagmire...is against dirty magazines"_

"No way! I _lurve _dirty magazines! Giggety!"

"_Glenn Quagmire...is a virgin"_

"No I'm not! Also, call me Quagmire."

"_No,"_

"Yes!"

"_No!"_

"_YES!"_

"_Okay fine!_

"_Glenn Quagmire...is the uncle of Duncan, Isadora, and Quigley Quagmire"_

"No! I'm only Duncan and Quigley's uncle! Isadora's adopted!"

(Isadora walks in crying) "That's why you never fed me!"

"_Oookay, Glenn Quagmire...is actually the Quagmire triplets **father**"_

"I told you! I'm only their uncle! And Isadora 's adopted!"

(Isadora slaps Quagmire)

"_Glenn Quagmire...hates Southern Xposure with a passion"_

"That's a lie! I love that place!"

"_Suuure anti-stripping!"_

"You lie! You lie!"

"_Glenn Quagmire...went out with Roy Mustang"_

"Nuh uh! I went out with Maes Hughes!"

(Gracia comes in) "Stay away from my husband!"

"_Glenn Quagmire...hates anything with **orn-pay**_ _in it."_

"No way! I love it!"

"_Suuure."_

"I mean it!"

"_Whatev! Glenn Quagmire...is Kevin and Andy French's best friend"_

(Kevin and Andy from_ Mission Hill_ come in)"This is the perv who stole my magazines!" Andy pointed to Quagmire. "Yea! And he stole my magazines too!" Kevin yelled. The French brothers beat the $#!T outtaQuagmire.

"_Now you know Glenn Quagmire."_


	8. Author's Note:

**Author's Note:**

**_I just wanted 2 say, No 'Anonymous' reviews! I can't reply to those! So review with your penname or don't review at all OK? (Unless you don't have an account)_**

_**Sincerely, The Next Riza Hawkeye.**_


	9. Mayor West

Know Your Stars: Family Guy

Disclaimer: I own nothing so get off my back!

Mayor West walked in and sat down. _"Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,_

"_Mayor Adam West...His acting skills suck!"_

"No they don't! I have killer skills!

"_No, they suck alright"_

(Groans)

"_Mayor Adam West...was dating Meg"_

"I know I did and I don't care!"

"_Damn..."_

"_Mayor Adam West...is a sumo wrestler!"_

"I'm not even fat! How the hell am I supposed to sumo wrestle!"

(Winry Rockbell comes in all sugar high)

"Asumowrestler!Cool!Givemeyourautograph!ILOVEsumowrestling!" (Chases Mayor West for three hours on end)

"_Oookay, Mayor Adam West...loves baby pictures, Oh Maes?"_

(Maes Hughes comes in with pictures of Elicia)

"YOUWANNALOOKATTHESE?LOOK!LOOK!JUSTONEGLANCEANDALLTHESTRESSJUSFLIESAWAYSHE'STHREENOWCANYOUBELIVEIT!HM?HM?"

"AAAH!" (Mayor Westruns away as Maes chases him with pictures for hours on end)

"_Oh well, Mayor Adam West...went out with Dee Reynolds from **Always Sunny in Philadelphia"**_

"No I didn't! Dee's too ugly!"

(Dee comes in and kicks Mayor West's ass) "I'm too good for you anyway!"

"_Mayor Adam West...raped Edward Elric!"_

"You have no proof!"

"_Yes I do! Oh Ed?"_

(Ed walks in, sobbing) "Now it hurts when I pee!" (Kicks Mayor West's ass)

"_Now you know Mayor Adam West."_


End file.
